21 year old Art Student. Mostly waiting for life to start.
Install Theme

(( I woke up in your arms this morning to you singing this song. I hummed the backup in an attempt to harmonize with you. The sweetest thing, you are. ))

Wake up you sleepy head
Put on some clothes,
shake up your bed
Put another log on the fire for me
I’ve made some breakfast and coffee
Look out my window
What do I see
Crack in the sky and a hand reaching down to me
All the nightmares came today
And it looks as though they’re here to stay

What are we coming to
No room for me, no fun for you
I think about a world to come
Where the books were found by the Golden ones
Written in pain, written in awe
By a puzzled man who questioned what we were here for
All the strangers came today
And it looks as though
they’re here to stay

Oh You Pretty Things
Don’t you know you’re driving your
Mamas and Papas insane

Let me make it plain
You gotta make way
for the Homo Superior

Look at your children
See their faces in golden rays
Don’t kid yourself they belong to you
They’re the start of a coming race
The earth is a bitch
We’ve finished our news
Homo Sapiens have outgrown their use
All the strangers came today
And it looks as though they’re here to stay

Oh You Pretty Things
Don’t you know you’re driving your
Mamas and Papas insane

Let me make it plain
You gotta make way
for the Homo Superior

I rarely make the effort

I rarely make the effort

visualquesimone:

post-punker:

Lou Reed shooting heroin, San Francisco, November 22, 1974, by Michael Zagaris

I need a poster of this.

visualquesimone:

post-punker:

Lou Reed shooting heroin, San Francisco, November 22, 1974, by Michael Zagaris

I need a poster of this.

Starting over again and again

I didn’t count the hours
But it’s almost day 3
I was doing it clean
With no aid
But it was getting worse
With no signs of stopping
I could barely open my mouth to respond
So empty
Devoid of everything comfy
I’m happy I can cry about it now
I can feel regret in my heart
I couldn’t before suboxone
I was numb to everything but physical misery
Now I can feel weak and sad and loved
This is the slowest weekend of my life
And I can’t go back
And even when the miserable ache peaked
I didn’t want to go back
Zero craving a hundred percent of the way
I feel like a martyr
I feel like when I do this you’ll know it is the truest love
And that’s why I cannot fail
And that’s why subs feel like cheating
This baby buzz masks that emptiness
I can appreciate being unhappy right beside you
Be wise
Get smart
Do it for me too
But do it for you

mausvulf:

child-of-clay:

im-electric-sympathy:

i made fixed sum pancakes

oh my god are you shitting me

ahaha nooooo

(Source: im-electricsympathy, via williamsvenson)

Clean

On my 3rd day
I feel great
I feel completely normal. Thanks to you. Withdrawal free withdrawals. It is no longer a myth.
But best of all I’m done at least for a while. At least for the summer. At least for a month. At the very least a week. :)

Daddy you made it painlessly easy for me. You are so careful when it comes to me and so careless with yourself. Like a guilty conscious. You were supposed to do it with me baby. You weren’t supposed to suffer. Why does your body punish you every chance it gets? How can I sit there and watch you hurt not being able to do anything about it? Don’t punish yourself. You are so close. We are so close to freedom.

All the junkies were too disorganized to congregate last night. Call centers close at 7:30pm. And small time dealers have their stash and their cash, why would they even want to exit their galleries after their 9-5 hustle? So the sick boys tough out the night with old cotton balls or straws with resin 0.0nothings or, like my baby, with their lovers trying to hold their arms and legs and bodies from kicking and jerking and sweating.

My heart bruises for the relapsers and the uncontrollables. They don’t know how else to fix themselves besides fixing. That emptiness and that pain is consuming. Sometimes I think it eats away at your soul. Need becomes bigger than you and you become less of a person. My baby fights so hard against losing himself. He fights everyday and he proves his strength through being his truest self eh veh ree day.

But those doe eyed baby faces, the ones like me, the weak ones who lack a self. Who’s light behind their eyes seem to fade with every new wrinkle. Those are the ones that should be careful. We are sheep. And we lose track of our herd. We lose our way. We get lost. Easy prey.
Be careful.
Quit while you’re ahead.
Don’t let go.

Bad habits

Is this semester long binge finally coming to an end
Because school has

My heart is pounding
My pupils, saucers
My body twitches
And I feel ready
And I don’t feel ready
But I feel uncomfortable
It hurts
It hurt me tonight

High and sick
Together at once

Scary habits

It would/could have been possible to not get like this
For me it was feasible
But I wanted to be like you
So I pushed
Almost too far

Once more is ok I think to myself
Let’s convince each other of it when we wake up
Let’s postpone the sickness once again
It gives me nightmares
Sits on my chest
I can’t breathe
It’s wraps around my neck
And my brain floats from lack of circulation

Lifestyle habits

I want it
But I might need it
But I don’t
And I might not

All better now

Talk through the come down
Crying before the crash
Fill that void with dreams
Wake up ready for sleep

Master bait, asshole

This empty feeling is bubbling up like hate
It’s awful
It’s consuming
Why

All by my grown ass self

All by my grown ass self

Eclipse.

Eclipse.

It brings me joy to be capable of loving. I lived most of my life afraid that it was impossible.

:) bad habit I suppose. I can’t even see with them on in there.

Eventually they slip off my face and hit the floor and that’s when I leave em off.

:) bad habit I suppose. I can’t even see with them on in there.

Eventually they slip off my face and hit the floor and that’s when I leave em off.